Some more weather jokes ,
Least Competent Reactions to Winter
To thaw the frozen pipes in his house in Farmingville, N. Y., in January, John Porter backed his car up against an open window so the exhaust could warm up the basement. Shortly afterward, Porter, his wife, and their three children had to be rushed to the hospital suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning. [San Francisco Examiner-New York Daily News, 1-17-94]
George Gibbs, 23, suffered second- and third-degree burns on his head in Columbus, Ohio, in January. He had diagnosed his car's problem as a frozen fuel line, which he thought he could correct by running warm gasoline through it. He then tried to heat a two-gallon can of gasoline on a gas stove. [Columbus Dispatch, Jan94]
A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.
One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"
"What do I think?" his mother said. "Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!"
In the paper it said "Please look after your neighbours in the cold weather." Not once has my 87 year old neighbour come round to check if i'm all right. The lazy bitch hasn't even taken in her milk in for 2 weeks!