Why women shouldn't take men shopping - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Humor Heard a good joke or funny story? Keep it PG please.

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-05-10, 07:51 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
Sterling_Six's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Green Bay, WI
Posts: 1,135
Why women shouldn't take men shopping


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel,
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
the clerks passed out.

Good Luck and good repairing Sterling_6
"You know, just like in that Book, When Jesus beats up Moses to get Religion!!"
Sterling_Six is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-05-10, 09:31 AM
2002 F150 XLT
Bert's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,241
Re: Why women shouldn't take men shopping

Bert is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-06-10, 01:06 PM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 6,613
Re: Why women shouldn't take men shopping

That's pretty good Ric.
jwko is offline  
Sponsored Links

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Off Topic > Humor
Gear in this thread - Powered by O'Reilly Auto Parts

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome