[russellw]

While on somebodys hold system for an extended period of time and thus forced to listen to real country music, I amused myself by trying to find some merit in it. Here is what I came up with.

1. As a country singer or listener you can drop a few letters from the alphabet - like g and h; for example: "she is givin' me 'eartaches".

2. Grammar also becomes completely irrelevant as in: "she ain't doin' me no good".

3. Punctuation and sentence structure also gets the flick: "Shes a hard drivin' ordinairy one legged sweet lovin' woman and' ah'm gonna' make her mine one day if I ever get off'n this 'ere porch"

4. You can lose yer dawg, job, truck an' yer woman all in one day and still sing about it.

5. You get to wear silly hats.

6. Tight black jeans become almost acceptable in public.

7. You'll know where Texas is.

8. You can drive an F-Series truck (maybe that isn't a positive).

9. If you play the music backwards there are no Satanic messages - all that happens is you get your woman back, your job back, your dawg back etc.

10. You only need to know three guitar chords and everything is played at the same tempo.

Now I rememebr why I gave up playing when the band turned country!!

Cheers
Russ

 

[Bluedriver]

Russell absolutely agree, I get to go to Downtown Nashville once a year for work and its exactly like your 1 to 10 rating.
Have you been there ? LOL

 

[XE6_mate]

5. You get to wear silly hats

I love my akkubra

6. Tight black jeans become almost acceptable in public.

Ahemmmmmmm there is nothing wrong with a nice butt clad in black wranglers

7. You'll know where Texas is

You dont ?????????

8. You can drive an F-Series truck (maybe that isn't a positive).

I love the F Series ...........



Hahahahahahhahahahha Russ ..... sorry I just had to defend us country dwellers


:fairy

 

[Axeman82]

7. You'll know where Texas is.

Yeah its a little black dot the NSW/QLD border... Is there another one?

Dan..

 

[smciner1]

Hmmmmm...........

Many similarities between that and the list for the Blues......

:AAHHH:

 

[XE6_mate]

Yeah its a little black dot the NSW/QLD border... Is there another one?

Dan..

LOL thats where I was thinking ..... apart from that place in the USA

Hehehehheee

 

[Axeman82]

I drove through it a few years ago - crossed the bridge from down south going north and thought "Texas don't seem so big to me..."

LOL...

And acutally I was coming back from Tamworth during country music week - but I was there for a 21st, not the music..

Dan...

 

[Laurz]

I love the F Series ...........

Me too.

What's wrong with them?

 

[Sipheren07]

Hey I have to put up with the country music show every damn year!!....Jan is the worst month in the year for me......
but I have ta say some country stuff isnt to bad......but most is.....

 

[FordHawk]

Russ. Try living with country music mad parents (ok so they don't go to Tamworth every year....but they play enough of the hopeless attempt at music to make it seem as though Tamworth is actually Walla)

I am glad that I never hear it anymore...unless bloody Kasey Chambers comes on the radio...singing blatant country music that radio executives think is modern, good music. Aaarrrggghhh.

 

[RED_EL_XR8]

Russ. Try living with country music mad parents (ok so they don't go to Tamworth every year....but they play enough of the hopeless attempt at music to make it seem as though Tamworth is actually Walla)

I am glad that I never hear it anymore...unless bloody Kasey Chambers comes on the radio...singing blatant country music that radio executives think is modern, good music. Aaarrrggghhh.

I'd have though a biggerproblem would be having to utter the phrase "pa can I borrow the John Deere tonight!

 

[Chad_XF]

4. You can lose yer dawg, job, truck an' yer woman all in one day and still sing about it.

LOL good stuff!

 

[honer]

Russ, I said it before and I'll say it again - you are one funny person.

Totally agree though. Country music (and hairy muffs) are the roots of all that is evil, and those who support / listen to it should be shipped to Tasmania.

 

[flavze]

Well country music keeps country people happy, an ya should be thankful for that cus if all the country people got sad an moved to the big smoke to be happy you'd all be pretty damn hungry before to long!

 

[Starscream]

your lucky pilgrim you live in the city. lol
considering we feed all you affluent, nurtrtionally endowed city folks a muzzleload of
gratitude should be deserved.

For all us country folks here it is in reverese

You know your in the city

1. When say hello and smile and met with rude and arrogant gestures or
met with non-chelance and their smiles are all false and co-erced.

2. You ask them to show their hands, there is not a callice or corn shown let
alone a splinter. They look like the came manicured.

3. They all drive cars most of which were made the very enermies we vaniqusished
in WWII sucessfully but those folks don't seem to have got the message.

4. They all give weak handshakes, donhonest mongrels.

5. Their idea of hard work is sitting in a office 9-5. My idea of hard work is waking
up at 4:30 and working till sundown chopping down trees, moving earth, mustling
cattle or simply lookin after your farm. By the way no body told me about
annual leave.

6. All the music they listen to is difficult to comprehend as its either too fast-
undeciperhable or seems like the record player has broken or their idea of originality is to strut
half naked in a video clip or sware their heads of like their chook shed exploded
acting tough in some grabastic display of manhood. My idea of manhood and
many other country folk is don't respect God, don't whinge, be honest and true to your
word and most of all look after your mates. Atleast Patsy Kline sings
for her heart unlike some others who sing for the $$$.The ladies
in the city dress like hookers and the blokes show of their big chest in tight T-shirts. We find it quite wierd actually.


7. In the city You don't know nobody living in your own street let alone inviting you
for a barbecue on Sunday arvo after church. Don't worry even if
your a city slicker you may even be invitied to dinner even if we
don't have enough food to feed ourselves or a bed to sleep in
were big on humility and love thy neighbour thing.

8. They crap their pants when they see or live near criminals or even poor people for that matter and get security guards, build high fences and fit their house full of sophisticated security equipment. Though in 'yonder everyone knows everyone there would be some form of community spirit and everyone would be watching out for everyone else. Not to mention helping out poorer members of the community with money and even offers for work or helping
hand not just for show but becuase on day maybe the filthy godless banks may be knocking on your door hungry for their pound of flesh.

9. City people are misers they buy whatever they can which is the cheapest
and often overseas. One day they will regret it when everything and everyone is from overseas, including their own jobs. Probably explains why our manufacturing industries are dying, J.Howard wants to kill farmers with free trade? with the U.S and why Woolworths and Coles (if you have any sort of concience don't ever buy meat, fruit or veges of them) rip of farmers off for their produce so they can sell it cheap to you in the never ending game
of greed. Probably explains why most country companies are at the wall
or bust and families have been destroyed and towns are dying all becuase
some guy in Sydney thinks the business is not profitable enough to keep
shareholders happy. Don't know how he can live with himself If he saw the
real suffering. Hope they all burn in hell- Mathew 25 31-46 & Mark 10 17-25

10. The ultimate sacrifice for a city slicker is to take out the garbage
the ultimate sacrifice for a country boy is to serve his country.
Funny that the ratio between country and city boys in the military
is huge. Suppose were always better soldiers and men than they
will ever be.

Nowonder the world's in such a mess. Nowonder why those city slickers
are moving out here like a plague and poisoning our way of life.

There is a bit of humour here, some sarcasm, anger with a tinje of forgiveness
a bit of all emotions here. I'll let you work it out. A big Howdy All to all those country folk out there.

 

[Starscream]

Though there are some sensible and some idiotic people here who try and fan a brushfire with jellyfied petrolium I can laugh though recently where I live its no longer funny anymore. I thought it would be funny to show what most country folk think of city slickers.

Sorry if I offended any city slickers. I thought some information here would clear the record once and for all as the closest some people have been to the country is 50-100 km out of a capital city. These were sterotypes country people made about city folk
and some do cut deep as some people I don't think fit the puzzle you put of me nor do you fit into my puzzle above. The idea where all a bunch of stupid ******** is long gone farmers families are on capita have to be much better education just to survive in the business world and continue running the business.

I suppose we should be bury the hatchet and accept our differences good and bad.
I suggest some people talk to some real country people out there. No not the ones living in the big cities in Orange, Bathurst and Mildura and the ones actually living off the land for a living and livelihood maybe then you would get a better respect of us
than this vitreole Im hearing from some people here. Perhaps if you listened to the lyrics in country music (not just the Nashville Tamworth style the original bluegrass music) you get a better appeciation on things. I respect other people as long as they see both sides of the coin but some things you have to stand up for.

 

[russellw]

I am sure that all made sense Starscream but I suspect it missed the point of the entire post - which was a light hearted shot at country music.

Rather than get excited over the whole thing why not just put on a Slim Dusty CD, grab a cool XXXX and do some circle work in the lower paddock.

Cheers
Russ

 

[XE6_mate]

Starscream

I live in Central west NSW ............. not in a town ........... I'm 30odd k's from the nearest town on an 800 acre property ............ I know what its like .............

I also know that this post was made in jest & so was my first reply ............. lighten up dude .................

We out here need as many laughs as we can get ..... if your off a property you know what I mean ............So take the laughs when and as you can ........ We dont get many out here .........

Theres no point being Mr Sensible when were in cyberspace ............ this is our escape & where I dont have to think about all the stuff you have pointed out .......... these guys know how tough it is out here .......... they have heard me whinge enough now for me to relax & enjoy my escape into nothingness ...........

All I can suggest is that you take a chill pill & enjoy the ride and ask one question .......... your location is Newcastle ......... thats city to me ............. where are you really from ?????????????????


:fairy

 

[Starscream]

I know its all smiles and sunshine here but out where I live thats a invitation to join the club so to speak, please don't take offence thats how it is.
My mates know I get wound up over nothing I think that why I get into so much trouble when I drink. But I have a good record in the local for keeping up reputations
34-6. Not bad. My mate Jonty has a record of 62-3. Now that is heroic. Nice bloke to have when the corner turns all scarlet.

As far as I know XXXX is a great beer (queenslanders drink that tastes better than VB but I prefer Tooheys New), Slim Dusty is overrated Johnny Cash is far better and dad will never let me use the XF ute again after I balded his brand new set of tyres showing of to a girl at the B&S ball. She went with a guy with a Maloo I could not help that though she deserves better. O well maybe one day I'll have a decent ute. I'll just have to lure some beautiful lady who owns a decent ute. Still waiting- lol

It'll have
Starter Car Ford Pursuit 290

- Strip All Paint from car looks to pretty. Light Grey Black undercoat is fine
or maybe Mad Max dull black matt finish.
- A Bullbar the size of Kentucky with B&D Mesh in the Centre Grille.
- 2 Roo Lights at the Front and 6 on the Roof X 160W each. Enough to give
directions for a light aircraft to land.
- Superdupa Maxi Duty Suspension - heightened with Ford Louisville Mudflaps.
- Polished Floorpan so shiny you could blind a wedge-tailed eagle from 300ft away
with a eteched impression of my hero Hank Williams on it.
- Mountable Bi-Pod for large calibre rifle on roof with shell casing collection box.
- Mandatory 2X Mack Truck Airhorns playing Dukes of Hazzard Tune
- Mega Side Flares with rivets on the Outside to fit the most widest wheels
most country cops allow.
- Fat 15's by whatever the widest tyre God can allow.
- Old 5 Spoke Allows ploshed to Buggery
- No CAT, A 4" Zorst custom.
- Shaker scoot RAM air from top
- NOS
- Vortec Gearcharger
- Genuine 'Felty' Cowhide Seats and Console not this imitation BS.
- Auto so you can bloody tow not this Manual BS.
- No Airbag Wheel old XF Wheel. Thats a lucky Wheel.
- 2X Wide band CB Aerial and 1 Long Range AM FM.
Long Range Sanegan Radio and UniDen CB and a old tape deck
so I can play all my old country tapes.
- Gee Wizz and a Fattest Towbar and Rear Bullbar with etched barbed
wire on it .

I'll be as happy as....

 

[Starscream]

I have to live in Newcastle to study at Uni whenever I can I get back to Inverell where the heart is and all my mates are. Its so wierd in the city and everybody talks strange not to mention this internet thing, hmm, :fraz:

im outa here this stuffs nuts.