PAHAHAHA HA HA HA
Here is the letter i managed to get after just throwing in some words....
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at kim's Christmas party. It was rose who spiked the punch with too much margaritas. I can't help it if I drank 27 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like fart.
I thought it was funny when I put bruce's bra on my head and danced the running man on the desk while singing `like a virgin'. I didn't mean to break kim's vibrator and don't know why kim would sue me for murder.
I don't remember calling bill's wife a shitting moose---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on pattie's husband's dick, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crapping duck and have me arrested for public nudity!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all turd and running. And I'm really not to blame for any of this building stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and pissing yours,
Jim (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 329840 bucks!
note: i um,,,um dont get anywere near anyones dick!
lol